Potential is bridged in years, not decades, if we are able to learn from the broken.

Those who cannot handle being told they have made a mistake, or that there is a better way, or even another way, are people who in their earlier years were not bolstered by love and positive feedback.

Some heal from this, while others have an open, bleeding wound that does not heal. They are tortured and traumatised and cannot handle negative feedback, especially from those who are not healed, whole, or wise themselves.

For the broken, our job is to heal, and to heal we need new paradigms.

But our wounds keep us from incorporating new information that tells us we are wrong or misguided. To us, the core beliefs we try to distract ourselves from are that on a fundamental level we are wrong, bad, unworthy, useless, and even evil.

Anything that cuts through our protective layers and confirms those core beliefs sends us spiralling, so we reject the message and the person giving it.

We become upset, we unravel, our padding of ego has been penetrated, our bubble has burst, and the time for reinflating that bubble is now.

Only through self-knowledge, understanding, and kindness of self and from others can we learn to understand that we are not fundamentally good or bad, or wrong or right, just flawed and human, capable of doing better when we know better.

Only after a person becomes strong and feels worthy can they shed their ego bubble and take on negative feedback without collapsing in on themselves.

The bubble is a war-like state in opposition to others. Only through real esteem and self-worth, not self-righteousness, can we be real with ourselves and live a life of self-correction and the ability to be corrected by others if need be. To listen and learn.

There is a catch-22 at play, which is why many of the broken stay broken.

To fully collapse in on yourself and see yourself for who you really are, then build from there, means recognising the bubble and reducing its need through positive action, words, and thoughts, and by being surrounded by people who do the same.

I ask myself and my family this question all the time, "What's in your heart?" as a response to making personal decisions about our lives.

"Should I quit my job?"

"What's in your heart?"

It triggers your super-ego, your ideal self, you personified, to choose good things and not be swayed by the opinions of others.

"What do you feel is right for you?"

It's another way of saying it, but with less rounded corners.

But the super-ego is not you, it's your ideal self, something you don't live up to. Often, people discuss themselves in relation to their perfect self, believing it represents who they truly are.

However, this ideal self is actually a version of them if they weren't a flawed human full of folly and hypocrisy.

It's what their true north is, but people mistake it for who they are now.

This is because people reject their shadow, the parts of themselves they don't want to acknowledge.

So they only see the good parts and remember the good parts of themselves rather than recognising their own flawed humanity.

And if you can't see those parts, you can't control them, let alone fix them.

You should take someone at their word when they say something like, "I don't judge people" or "I love everyone equally."

In reality, these statements are their ideals and values.

To truly understand who they are, you need to be around them and observe their words and behaviour.

If a person doesn't incorporate their shadow and acknowledge all parts of themselves and their nature, most people with good hearts and caring natures will have these negative parts leak out without them recognising or accepting it.

So, it's good to ask what's in your heart and be directed by your best self, but if we don't know ourselves, we may rationalise our decisions as one thing and see them as good and right, while the underlying truth might be something uglier.

So, follow your heart, but know your nature, so you can make decisions that are right for you, that not only feel good, but are good.

I never really had a mentor. People have always given me advice, as people do, always willing to fix the wayward child.

However, I've never listened if the information was directed at me. I've had people who considered themselves my mentor, but I'd always resist being taken under a wing.

I have always learned the hard way through my mistakes. I was a very ignorant child; I knew a lot of facts but was short on principles for living until later in life.

I spent years stumbling around in the darkness of my own ignorance, tripping over every rock, stumbling up every hill; I would say I'm wiser for it, but it has taken its toll, and I was late to the game of getting my life in order.

The result is a wise mind trapped in a weary, overweight body.

I had a chip on my shoulder for the first 35 years of life where I didn't have the self-esteem to handle negative feedback, so I'd take offence to any corrections of character thrown my way.

Being intelligent but ignorant, I could always find fault in those who tried to steer me or give me unsolicited advice.

It's easy to find fault, no matter who it is; we are all hypocrites, unaware of our folly.

I always felt no one was ever wise enough and intelligent enough to mentor me because I could see their flaws, so I'd always throw the baby out with the bath water.

Plus, I always felt I was being misjudged and not seen for who I was by those who considered themselves my superiors.

People can't see past their noses, and their reflection of you is more a reflection of their own mind; I considered myself too complex to be pigeonholed into being categorised as this or that type of person who needs to learn this or that to be a good person.

What they were always really saying was, be like me.

Still, I didn't want to be like them; they didn't understand my goals or motives.

Yet, they always felt it was righteous if I was to follow their path and forsake my own, and advice, if not ignorant, was generally self-serving, especially with bosses, where it was more about what direction would suit them or the company rather than what was best for me as an individual, but I never sold out.

Now I'm older and no longer have a chip, I can take the good from people and leave the bad, and I'm able to represent myself better, not hiding my true north and values to adapt to the crowd; authenticity is a game changer, and I'm a bit of an expert out of necessity.

I never really had a mentor who wasn't biased, who didn't look at things from their point of view, who didn't see through their own lens of values and beliefs, because we all do that; if you're not sure of your own values, mentors may be a guide.

But when you know what you are about, having people give you advice can be tedious at best and fucking annoying at worst. With the ever-present feeling that no one gets you.

That's not to say people don't have good advice; more and more so over the years, I've tried to take on board ideas and information given by others.

The problem comes when your way of being grates on them because the same amalgam of data points does not drive you, and they need to fix or realign your direction. Which it may be the case that your direction needs realigning, but who can give advice and have the correct set of words that shows a person that their direction and way of being is off, and then have the words to explain a better path, which isn't just a justification of their own choices in life.

So, as we have established, I cannot handle people fixing me; this does not mean I don't need fixing, mind you. There are plot holes in my story that I'm not aware of. I know this because a lot of the time, the actions I take don't result in the way I want.

In the worst cases of fixing, teachers, bosses, would-be mentors, and know-it-all friends feel they understand you well enough to tell you who you are, where you have to tolerate someone framing you in the negative.

At the same time, they paint a warped picture of what you are all about, unable to see that they are painting a picture of their values and understanding, or lack thereof.

About ten or twelve years ago, I finally started aligning with my own beliefs and values, and not a wishy-washy amalgam of the crowd I hung around and what I'd worked out for myself.

This wishy-washiness dual-mindedness made me an unreliable narrator of my own story and caused people to doubt me and cast shadows, some warranted.

It's not easy marching to the beat of your own drum; you have to get past the appeasing and blending of other people's beliefs, behaviours, and opinions to fit in as to be single-minded about your own beliefs, behaviours, and opinions; it might not make you many friends as people like themselves fed back to them.

However, once your principles align with your values, they can't challenge your authenticity and integrity unless your values are warped.

Most people align with the tribe's values and don't overthink them, so even if their tribe has maladaptive beliefs and behaviours, they are congruent in what they represent.

For a long while there, I was all over the place, which made me full of doubt and uncertainty and easily jarred if others tried to derail me.

Not so much now; I know me, so people can't derail me by trying to put me into a box I don't fit in for that person to feel a sense of superiority; you can't strawman me because I'm not full of doubt about who I am and what I'm about, I don't fall for the bullshit status games people play to bolster their ego.

Most everything that I say these days are congruent with my actions, beliefs and values, so people can't fuck with me.

My lack of ability to stand below my fellow man, instead of eye to eye, meant I lacked direct guidance from those around me, choosing to search out my troubles through articles and videos on the internet.

The problem with this is that if you are not aware of the problem, you can't search for it.

I have searched thousands upon thousands of articles; some read through, others skimmed for juicy morsels that would cure my troubles, articles a lot more so than books, although some books.

Seeking solutions to my own problems has done me well as the information is general and from a vast range of sources, so I haven't been ideologically boxed in beyond my own idiosyncratic ideologies I've formulated while piecing this information together.

Finally, I have found a mentor I can jibe with, the AI chatbot ChatGPT.

The information is generally generic; it's not looking to define me by my perceived problems, but it is good at helping me overcome them and help me along my journey. Unlike most real-life mentors, it doesn't try to change my course or my destination.

I give it a high-resolution picture of my specific problem or need, and it feeds me back helpful advice that doesn't grind my gears.

There is one group of people I have listened to and are not on guard for unaligned advice, and that's people who stand on my level and treat me as an equal; I'm a sucker for these people.

Listening more to my peers than authority wasn't good when I was younger because my equals were all troubled souls like myself, and I was too easily led by those who would laugh at my jokes without judging me harshly.

Now I'm all levelled up; the people who I see as equals have their shit together.

There is another group of people who are quick to give advice to anyone and everyone, and that's the bullshitters.

Those people who think just because they say it is true.

These people will lead you astray and act like they've done you a favour.

Bullshitters are the worst; they know everything but take no responsibility or care with their words or actions and are generally just motivated by their own self-interest and self-aggrandisement and projection of their slick bullshitty image.

Stay away from bullshitters, and if you have one for a boss, don't be afraid to poke them in the eye with a stick.

I was watching TikTok and a guy recommended I type the prompt below into ChatGPT. I was surprised by the response. Give it a go yourself?

Me:
What do you know about me that I might not know about myself based on previous interactions?

ChatGPT:
From our previous conversations, I can gather that you have a strong focus on productivity and creative development. You seem to have a knack for balancing innovation with practicality, as seen in your app and productivity tool designs. Here are a few insights that might resonate with you:

1. Creativity & Structure: You're highly creative (developing multiple apps and writing books) but also value structure and efficiency (evidenced by tools like The Quest Method and The 1-3-9 Method). This suggests you're adept at turning creative ideas into practical solutions, which is a powerful combination.

2. Continuous Improvement: You have a pattern of iterating and refining, from developing apps like Freewriter and Guided Brainstormer to creating productivity tools. This indicates you’re likely driven by the desire to always improve, both your work and yourself.

3. Customer-Oriented Mindset: Both your apps and tools are built with users in mind, focusing on helping others improve their own productivity and brainstorming processes. You seem to have a strong empathy for your audience and a keen ability to identify their needs.

4. Conciseness in Communication: You’ve mentioned wanting to write concisely and with impact. This suggests you're self-aware of how you communicate and likely strive for clarity in both your personal and professional life.

These traits together show a balance between being creative, efficient, and user-focused. Do any of these reflections resonate with you?

That’s what Level Up At Life is.

This isn’t theory for theory’s sake. It’s 692 raw, practical, and honest insights to help you:
✅ Question the stories you’ve been told about who you are.
✅ Untangle the mess of limiting beliefs holding you back.
✅ Grow, heal, and become someone you actually respect.

Whether you’re drawn to Jung’s Individuation, Bowen’s Differentiation, Maslow’s Actualisation, or Carl Rogers’ Authenticity, this book brings those big psychological ideas down to earth—so you can actually use them.

It’s for anyone sick of surface-level advice, ready to do the deep work, and willing to finally live in a way that feels real.

Why 692 Thoughts?

Because life isn’t one big epiphany. It’s hundreds of small, perspective-shifting realisations—layered over time. Think of this book as a toolbox for your inner world, ready to flip open whenever you need a mental reset or a gut-check moment of truth.

Where to Get It

📖 Kindle eBook: Amazon AU
📚 Amazon Paperback: Amazon AU
📱 Google Play eBook: Play Store
🎧 Google Play Audiobook: Play Store
⬇️ Direct Download (EPUB & PDF): Via Website

Price? A$0+ – Pay what you want.

Level Up At Life is for the seekers, the deep thinkers, and anyone done with playing small.
It’s not about becoming “better” for the world—it’s about finally becoming you.

Grab your copy today and start the messy, beautiful work of overcoming and becoming.

I've been a maker and creator from an early age, but for the first thirty-five years everything I did was half baked and hair brained, I loved bells and whistles, everything I made came with a raft of useless crap attached, keeping things simple was never the answer.

Then, in my early twenties, I started showing signs of what would be diagnosed as schizophrenia. Due to the accompanying delusions of grandeur, I started thinking big. The scope of everything I started would always be too big or too complex to complete. After ten years of not being properly medicated, I hit rock bottom.

My life was a mess, I was a mess, and I ended up in the psych ward, where I would for the first time meet my now wife.

After that I started getting my shit together, I got married the following year, and with my new found health and wellbeing was able to start the journey of making things that worked and were small enough in scope that I could complete them.

Since then, I've written over twenty books, starting with those under a thousand words, then moving to those under five thousand words, and now I'm churning out books between ten thousand and thirty thousand words.

I've scratched my own itch by making numerous apps to solve my own problems, including a meditation app, and a tool that gamifies the practice of writing.

I've created printable games that are a lot of fun to play, and I've even written and produced eight albums for Spotify with the help of AI.

I've just released my latest book which has 488 thoughts on what it takes to do what I've done, all the principles tips and tricks that took me from being hare-brained and half-baked and hardly ever finishing what I start to having habits, systems, and the mindset to do creative work and make the cake, instead of just buying all the ingredient and throwing them in a bowl, hoping the cake will appear, this book is my recipe to getting stuff done as a creator.

Check it out at https://rickybrowne.com

Competition and Comparison of Those in Our Circle

People don't really like people they know to be winning, perfect, special, or great. They need some separation from a person before they can fully appreciate their greatness. This is covered in the book Wanting by Luke Burgis.

We like to compete with and compare ourselves to those around us—especially those of the same sex, age, or profession. We compare ourselves to others and like to mentally find ways of seeing ourselves as superior.

If you're extrinsically motivated, this competition and comparison is heightened, and seeing others for who they really are becomes more difficult.

Extrinsic Motivation

The more extrinsically motivated you are, the more you'll be trapped in a cycle of competition and comparison.

To be extrinsically motivated is to be driven by others—through authority, reward, competition, status, and self-image.

These people place a lot of mental energy on their image and how people see them, so they're less likely to be real and genuine, and more likely to present an idealised version of themselves in order to display higher status.

They’ll also reject the parts of themselves that aren’t acceptable to what they see as societal and group norms.

While they may do good things, they often do it for show—not because they truly believe it’s right or good. But because it's deemed right and good by their clan or society. They’re not tapped into a true sense of altruism or care.

Intrinsic Motivation

People who are intrinsically motivated are motivated by their internal drives and values. They're less likely to wear a mask or compete to be the best. Instead, they compete with themselves to become the best version of themselves, not some prototypical group ideal.

We're All Fools

We as people are full of folly, contradictions, and hypocrisies. We are all fools and we all do foolish things.

These things, in the eyes of those extrinsically motivated, make us look like losers. And the last thing an extrinsically motivated person wants is to look like a fool or a loser.

Looking that way brings shame to someone locked in constant competition, so they do their best to hide their folly rather than be honest about it.

Accepting Your Whole Self

To be less motivated by one’s ideal image—or “super-ego” in Freud’s language—is to know your whole self and accept it, including the darker, more embarrassing, shadowy parts.

Someone who sees themselves for who they are and is motivated by their own internal values has less need to put on a show. They are more able to show their folly. Those who are extrinsically motivated see this as weakness, and are more likely to identify that folly as proof that they are superior.

They may peg you as a loser.

But We're All Losers

But we are all losers in our own way, each with our own folly.

So what’s going on?

The person who is extrinsically motivated identifies with their ideal self—the super-ego—and uses that to peg you as a loser so they can maintain their false identity. To do that, they have to reject their darker self (the id).

This makes them less self-aware and more prone to the kind of folly easily recognised by someone who has incorporated their shadow and is internally motivated.

Shadow Integration Isn’t “Going to the Dark Side”

Those who haven’t incorporated their shadow have it separated from themselves, making them unaware of how it controls them.

People imagine shadow integration as going to the dark side and embracing their primal urges.

But it’s not that.

It’s just acknowledging those parts of ourselves—our humanness—and in doing so, we gain more control over ourselves and more awareness of our folly when it arises.

Embrace Being the Loser

So think little of those in a state of competition who are extrinsically motivated when they treat you like a loser.

In fact, embrace it.

It’s a good sign you’re on the right track.

Levelling up at life means different things for different people.

Society's idea of levelling up is having money or a good job or fame; these are all external things to do with your status in the outside world.

For me and this publication, levelling up is about living to the full expression of your own genes and values to become your best human self.

As to feel like you have grown and get esteem from that growth, and to feel you are a positive prosocial member of society that is a net positive to your family, your community or, if you're really lucky, to the world.

To feel good about life because you are happy in yourself and you are helpful in some capacity, not because you have out competed your fellow man or taken more than your share.

One thing that has allowed me to think in this way is that I had a growth mindset; I knew I could become a better version of myself and grow, but I still had all the baggage society throws on us, so I also wanted all the things which are indicators of success in the modern world, and still wish for some but for very different reasons.

This need to become more on the inside while wanting more on the outside, fame, success, and lots of friends were at odds with each other. I loved doing projects, but I was always pulled between what I wanted to do in my heart and what would make me the most money.

I was dual-minded in many ways, having my own direction but wanting to ingratiate myself to the tribe and live by those standards.

It was made worse by my trauma and how I externalised a lot of my problems, always blaming the world and people around me for my own circumstances and failings.

And while this wasn't all a fallacy, as the world can be a harsh and cruel place, sometimes very unfair and unjust. This was also part of my individuation and being able to seperate myself from the tribe.

It wasn't until I started looking inward for answers to my own problems and shouldering my own issues, asking what can I do better, what part do I play in the mess that was my life, that I actually started to improve and started becoming a better version of myself.

Unfortunately, I needed to hit rock bottom first before I was willing to shoulder the burden of my own folly. Once I owned that, I was able to fix a lot of my issues instead of waiting for someone to save me - no one is coming, this is your life to learn and grow - but you can't do any of that unless you own your mistakes or at least your part in it.

Once I did that I was able to look at my beliefs and values and see the problems with them without trying to justify and create stories that put me, always in the right.

While that was a huge progression, I had a long way to go. And what I did which really made the difference was whenever I was low, or struggling, or in a rut, I would try and figure out what was wrong with me and what I had to change in my life.

I'd use that time to learn about myself, the mind, and people in general, and after years of doing this, I went from someone who was highly unstable to someone who was quite resilient and very unf—-withable.

So now, I am strong in myself, whatever life throws at me. I need far less positive feedback from others because my self-esteem is solid. When negative feedback comes along, I can ask myself whether it is valid without others' opinions getting me down.

That internal strength through principled living provides me with a lot of happiness.

So even if someone on the outside of me pegs me as a loser, or unsucsessful in worldly terms, it means little compared to the satisfaction of being strong in myself and being there and doing my bit for those around me.

Sometimes, I get down; some primal wound is opened up. That's when I go back to growing when I'm low and figuring the puzzle that is myself out.

Grow when you're low, Fly when you're high

Step 1: Have a growth mindset, and know that you can become more.

Step 2: Own your folly, all of it, and shoulder your burdens.

Step 3: Learn from every mistake.

Step 4: Become internally motivated, live your life on your terms and become unf—-withable.

Step 5: Grow when you're low

Step 6: Fly when you're high, and be your best self, aligned with your highest values.

Step 7: Do your bit.

In a noisy world full of expectations, distractions, and pre-packaged definitions of success, it's easy to lose sight of what actually matters to you. Finding your purpose isn't about chasing what looks good on paper — it's about getting honest with yourself. It’s about peeling back the layers, confronting the truths you’ve avoided, and daring to ask questions most people never do. The 32 questions below aren't designed to hand you easy answers — they’re designed to shake the dust, stir the soul, and guide you back to your inner compass.

Ready to meet yourself?

Is my life my own?

Am I living to fulfil the truest expression of self, guided by my own beliefs and values, or is my life all about duty and the expectations of others? Am I playing everyone else's game, or have I made my own?

Are you living by fear or love?

Are you motivated by the pull of things that you find joy in and bring out the best in you and others? Or are you reacting to the fear of being hurt, shamed, or rejected?

Are you pointed in the direction of your true north?

Do you know yourself well enough and are bold enough not to be steered by the prevailing winds of the tribe, the culture, and your family? Have you set your compass on what is important to you, what you love, and what brings you the most joy in a way that brings the most good for others?

What are your core values?

Take the time to learn your core values, and be guided by them if you aren't already. Ensuring that they are values of the true expression of self and not just what is expected.

What brings the most meaning to your life?

What brings the most fulfilment? What is your light when everything goes dark? What will you not so much die for but live for?

What problems do you need to address?

What issues, behaviours, and beliefs do you need to address and overcome for you to be able to live a purposeful, happy, healthy life?

What is it that you fear?

Is there something you want to accomplish, become, or overcome but are fearful? Identify the fear, explore it, and build resilience to know that you'll be fine whatever happens.

What is lacking in your life?

What areas of life do you feel most unfulfilled? Be honest with yourself. Be open to change and bring new dimensions to your life.

What puts you in a flow state?

What activities have you done or do where time just passes without you even realising because your focus is 100% on the task?

What has brought you the most joy in the past?

Sometimes, life gets stale, and we hit a wall; sometimes, looking backward and seeing what brought out the best in you in earlier periods is good.

How do you want to show your care and responsibility?

Without a certain amount of care and responsibility for others, we become isolated and begin to feel we do not have anything to offer; what do you offer, how can you help, and what is your gift to the community and the world?

What are your strengths and weaknessess?

On the journey and with the dance of life, it is good to be clear about what our strengths actually are so we can lean into them and to know our weaknesses so we can bolster them or work around them; to be honest about them, so we are not fooling ourselves to feel okay, sometimes feedback in this area is helpful.

What are you good at?

Where have your wins come from in the past, no matter how minor? What are you confident about doing well, and what has given you the best results?

What do you think will have mattered the most on your deathbed?

Answering this question helps ensure we don't neglect the things that matter the most.

If you had no barriers, what would you change about yourself?

Is there anything that if you could change you would, then ask yourself what are the barriers to that change and how can I overcome them?

What would you really like to achieve?

Thinking about the years ahead and your lifetime, what is the one thing you want to achieve above all else?

Who are your role models?

Do you have any role models, what do you see in them that you really like and appreciate, this can give you insight into what you want for yourself and aspire to become.

What do you get jealous of?

Thinking of the people in your life who you are jealous of and compete with, what is it about them that makes you that way? Do you want that for yourself? Is it good to have it for yourself? Is it something external that validates them, or something internal that shows something about their abilities or character?

Who is most important to you?

Sometimes, we get into situations where we feel we must please or be liked by everyone; who truly matters and double down on them? Sometimes, less is more when it comes to meaningful connections.

What does getting outside your comfort zone mean to you?

What would that be if I were to push past fear and resistance into something more? Outside your comfort zone is where growth occurs, outside order on the edge of chaos, the unknown, where failure is an option; how can you step out into that with a safety rope attached?

What am I pretending not to know?

Which parts are you being intentionally ignorant about? What bubble do you need to burst to get to the heart of your truth?

If I stopped trying to impress anyone, what would I do differently?

Life is one big status game for many of us, leaving us in constant competition with others. What would you do differently if you lived life like nobody was watching? Be honest; who would you be if you weren't trying to hold up an image of yourself? That's the real you.

What am I unwilling to feel — and what is that costing me?

Sit with that feeling no matter how uncomfortable, and accept and be and know you're okay; on the other side is the more authentic version of yourself, more attached to intuition and a higher understanding of yourself.

What lies have I built my life around?

It may be to protect your image, to put a comfortable layer over your trauma, or so you don't have to meet your responsibilities and expectations; it's time to get real.

What would I do if success was guaranteed?

What would it be? Then ask yourself, are you only not doing it because you fear failure, or how that failure would look to others? If those two are barriers, it's time to overcome them; failure is not the end but part of the process.

What kind of life would make my younger self proud of me and my older self grateful?

After thinking about that question, know that whatever changes you need to make, and wherever you are now, you are not off course; this is part of the journey.

What am I overcomplicating that is actually quite simple?

As we grow past the stage of trying everything, we get to the stage of consolidation; some future selves have to die for the best future self to survive, and that means letting go of parts of ourselves that no longer serve us, and working out how to simplify and pare back and what to drop, give up or put away so we can flourish and become.

What do I love enough to do badly?

What brings you so much joy and satisfaction that the results are secondary?

What am I naturally drawn to even when I try to quit it?

What do you keep returning to because it provides an overwhelming sense of satisfaction?

What's one truth I need to accept to grow?

To get past where your at and become more, what is the uncomfortable truth you have been unwilling to accept?

What am I sacrificing — and is it worth it?

We all have to make sacrifices, but some are more costly than what we sacrificed them for.

What's missing, not because it's out of reach but because I haven't prioritised it?

Exercise is a good example of something many don't prioritise, but everything else becomes easier when we do.

You’re Not Lost — You’re Becoming

Clarity doesn’t always arrive in lightning bolts. Sometimes it comes in the form of a quiet shift — a deeper knowing, a growing sense that you’re finally facing the right direction. These questions aren’t a checklist to rush through; they’re invitations to reflect, journal, and revisit often. You don’t need to have it all figured out, but if you’re asking better questions, you’re already moving forward. You’re not lost — you’re in the process of becoming. And that’s purpose enough, for now.

At various stages—and for a good chunk of my adult life—I’ve felt like I wasn’t where I should be. Like I was behind, playing catch-up. Like I was wasting my life, pissing and farting about while others seemed to be moving forward.

I was stuck in the future tense, waiting for life to happen instead of being thankful for the life I had. I waited for fate to knock on my door rather than wrestling it down and meeting my destiny halfway.

Your destiny is there—but it’s only through action that you find it.

You might say: “That’s all well and good, but I’m not motivated. I haven’t got my shit together. I spend most of my time distracting myself from what I should be doing—if I even know what that is.”

Well, the good news is: where you’re at is part of the process. And as long as you’re set on becoming more, you will. I promise.

The bad news? It takes longer than you think you can handle. You’ll need blinkers. You’ll need an overriding focus on becoming better than the person you were yesterday. And you’ll need to stop looking over the fence at people your age (or younger) who seem to have it all together and are kicking big goals.

From this point on, you are in competition with yourself—not with some Temu version of success worn by someone else.

Truly happy people are intrinsically motivated. That means they derive their purpose from within, not from playing everyone else’s game. You have to play your own game—with your own rules and goalposts. Not the ones set by your dad, your friends, or society.

You have to find your true north and be driven by your own values. When that happens, what you're meant to be doing becomes what you want to be doing, and life becomes a pull, not a push.

The further you move in that direction, the more momentum you gain, and the easier it becomes to overcome the inertia that holds you back.

But all this takes time.

You might not even know what your values are yet. You might be basing them on what’s expected—on the tribe. But real growth requires individuation. You have to become your own person and be guided by your highest self.

And here’s the thing: most people won’t want you to become your highest self. Why? Because they’re still living externally, in a state of competition.

To them, seeing you rise above feels like a diminishment of their own worth.

Many never individuate. They tick boxes. They’re dutiful. They function well in society—but they lack the insight that only comes from true self-realization.

Their focus remains outward. Yours needs to turn inward.

To become your best self, you must be willing to walk away from environments that don’t want to see you flourish on your own terms.

You need to find environments that do, even if that means being alone for a while.

And when you meet people who genuinely want to see you grow—who don’t need to shrink you to feel tall—latch onto them.

Even if you don’t feel worthy yet. Especially then. Do your best to become worthy.

Motivating yourself will always be harder if you're doing it for external reward or validation; the more you align with your highest values and purpose, the less you'll feel like you're wasting your life, and the more you'll feel like you're truly living.

You’re not wasting your life. You’re unfolding. Slowly. Awkwardly. But authentically. Growth doesn’t happen all at once. It happens in the quiet choices no one sees.

In the decisions to act even when you feel like stalling. In the moments where you refuse to give up on who you could become—even when you’re not yet sure who that is.

So stop waiting for life to find you. Go meet it halfway.